People have long been obsessed with personal appearance, and most people are not completely satisfied with theirs. These days, that usually means people want to lose weight – and I have a huge problem with this.

You can diet, and lose weight, but if you just aren’t taking in enough calories you aren’t necessarily getting healthier – you are merely getting smaller. Additionally, if you are doing any kind of real exercise, it can take months before you see a change in weight. Usually you will notice your size 12 pants are loose and wonder why at the same time the scale is still saying you weigh 180lbs.

Here’s the thing – In my opinion, losing weight is a terrible goal. If you focus on losing weight then you are likely to be disappointed with how slow it happens. It’s different for men and very large people; they find it easy to shed weight either because of how they carry it or because they have so much to lose that the calorie requirement to maintain that weight means they could eat a regular diet and lose a pound every day or two.

You will probably have noticed by now that this particular rant is aimed at women. Now, before you get irked with me and start dismissing me as another male trying to tell women how to look, see what I actually have to say first.

The next time you decide you need to diet, don’t use weight as a goal. Use size and shape. Weight is a far less meaningful statistic – I have met women who weigh over 200 lbs and are breathtakingly beautiful. Your weight is only going to matter when it affects your shape. Throw away the damned scale, you don’t need it. A much better goal would be to fit into the next size down. You’re a 14 now? Shoot for a 12. You make it to size 12 but still weigh 180 lbs? Who cares, you are fitting into a 12. That is proof positive your exercise and diet are working – you are physically taking up less space.

You’re a size 12 now, but think you are too big? Have a look at yourself in the mirror. Really look, and from all angles. See how your hips curve, how your butt fills out those size 12s you just squeezed into (many men like a larger butt). Notice how the difference in size down there really emphasizes the curve of your hips, and makes your waist look thinner. You’re a woman, having curves is *not* a bad thing. Some guys are into the super skinny chicks you see in magazines, but I think you’ll find that most aren’t.

The biggest thing that attracts people, however, is self-confidence. If you feel beautiful, and act like you feel beautiful, people will notice you and be drawn to you. I never figured that one out for myself – the only reason I am married is because my wife claimed me one day and I was so shocked that someone had notice me that by the time I started feeling any confidence I was already married.

Anyway, I’m out of time, so perhaps I’ll write more later.